Exclaimer: I am not the writer to this exciting story. But I am proud to introduce a Beautiful Mind and Soul, Convan. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article on my blog.
Written and Publish on Nov 15 2005, 12:29 AM
Zee, Issac and KK arranged to meet at the Raffles Place mrt station on the first day of their work. With the exception of Zee, both Issac and KK take the train in their office wear complete with ties. Zee chooses to take a cab down to the train station to meet them.
The young pretty receptionist greets the three hunks when she lets them into the office. She eyes them with a flirtatious look and brings them to the HR manager. After the three of them have their orientation with the HR manager, they are shown their seats and that?s when Mach storms in.
"Morning Mach, your new subordinates are here, do you want to?" the HR manager was cut off of her sentence when Mach raised his voice, "Don't disturb me, I don't have time! Damn it, where's Chunni? Don't tell me she is on medical leave again? That bitch!"
Zee looked at Issac with his big round eyes, astonished. He has thought Mach to be an immaculate gentleman with the perfect accent and mannerisms. And his first day of work, he witnessed the ugly side of Mach. Issac, on the other hand, is used to the temperamental side of his brother. He knows fully well that his brother is a great pretender, a wonderful fit in the deceitful and highly competitive public relations field with all the fake people.
The HR manager is obviously not happy with Mach's rudeness and walked off in a huff, leaving the three of them standing awkwardly there. Mach was rampaging through the huge stacks of files on his table when KK asked, "Why don't you tell us what file you are looking for and we will help you look for it?"
Mach looked at the boys for the first time and rests his gaze at KK and said, "What did you say? What makes you think I would ask for help?" Issac has wanted to say something when KK replies, "Well, judging from the way you are flipping through the files, I think it will be wise to recruit some help."
Mach nodded with a light smile and gets the boys to look for the file he needs. Zee manages to find the file among the pile on Chunni?s table and he passes the file with Mach, trying to get eye contact while doing so. Mach did look at Zee when he took the file from him, but only for a mere few seconds.
At that moment, Chunni appears outside Mach's office, looking worried. She tries to explain why she was late but could not even say a single word as Mach stops her, "Don't waste any more of my time, call Mr Lucceni now and tell him I am on my way." Mach turned to KK, and asked, "What's your name again?" "KK" comes the reply. "Ok, KK, follow me to this meeting. This will be your first assignment." Mach said on his way out of his office.
Zee and Issac looked at each other bewildered, especially Zee. He could feel his anger and jealousy rising, Issac notices Zee's unhappy look and was about to say something when Chunni breaks the silence, "I am so sorry for the commotion earlier, I was held up by the faulty train and had to make you guys saw such an unhappy episode. Let me bring you guys to your seats so that you can settle down."
Zee can't help but to complain to Issac once they are settled down, "Why did Mach get KK to go with him and not either one of us? Just simply because KK dared to offer him help?" "I am sure my brother has his reasons to get KK to go with him, as far as I know, he will usually bring Chunni to such meetings." Issac replied.
"And who's that Chunni anyway?" Zee asked unhappily.
Exclaimer: I am not the writer to this exciting story. But I am proud to introduce a Beautiful Mind and Soul, Convan. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article on my blog.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
(Love Tales 3) Unconditional Love (Part 1)
Exclaimer: I am not the writer to this exciting story. But I am proud to introduce a Beautiful Mind and Soul, Convan. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article on my blog.
Written and Publish on Nov 13 2005, 01:05 AM
Zee walked out of the stylishly decorated office with his best buddies, Issac and KK. The three of them are fresh graduates from NUS and had just nabbed employments with the most well known investor relations and risk management public relations firm in town.
Issac, standing at a strapping height of 180cm, is lean and toned. He loves to swim and cycle and takes part in biathlon annually. Armed with a boyish look, tanned and smooth complexion, Issac is naturally smooth all over and is a proud and out homosexual. His equally attractive brother, Mach, is one of the directors of the public relations company and he is the one who offered the jobs to the three of them.
KK, manly mannerisms and looks matured for his age, is always the brainy and quick thinker of the trio. He is slightly shorter than Issac but has a more defined muscular built. He is a hardcore gymmer and though he is fair, his manly looks and silent strong behaviour always stood him out as an alpha male. His sexual orientation is always the discussion topic between Zee and Issac.
Zee, the most mischievous of the lot, is also the most attractive. Even taller than Issac, Zee has a well defined and delicate facial features and is frequently referred to being a Japanese or Korean. He is extremely confident of his looks and knows how to work his charms to his advantage. He is aware of Issac's liking with him but refused to acknowledge and at times, he is jealous of KK's manly charms even though the three of them had been buddies since their army days.
"Whoa! Thanks Issac, if it is not you, we would not have been able to join the firm and got such a comprehensive salary package." said KK. Zee, whose hands are slung over Issac's shoulders replied, "Well, of course he has to help us. His brother is a director in there! And we are his best buddies! Not forgetting that we also shared same undies before!"
Issac stole a quick look at Zee, admiring his good looks and strong palms resting on his shoulders, just smiled and said nothing. They have their late lunch at Burger King and looking at the burger and fries, Zee thought to himself, "I am going to be successful and lunch at fancy restaurants in the future. This is so not for me, I am going to fulfill my dreams at all cost."
Issac asked," Do you guys want to bunk over my place tonight? We can play cards and catch some dvds that my bro bought back from the states. We can have some Gordon bleu to celebrate our first jobs! I am sure my bro wouldn't mind."
"If I don't have to spend a single cent, I am fine with any suggestions!" laughed Zee. KK looked at Zee, shook his head slowly and said with a smile, "I don't think we should do that. Your brother is going to be our boss soon and it is better we thread carefully and not get into his bad books."
"You just think too much, KK! Why would us drinking and chilling at Issac's place get us into Mach's bad books? Of all things, it will be a good opportunity to know Mach on a personal basis and hopefully makes us working with him much easier in the future!" argued Zee.
Issac interrupted, "My bro will not be home tonight. He is spending the night at one of his girlfriends' place. So we will not be disturbed or judged." Zee moaned, "You mean Mach is not gay? He is so hot and muscular. Such a pity that he bends the conventional way." KK throws a disapproving look at Zee for his comments.
Exclaimer: I am not the writer to this exciting story. But I am proud to introduce a Beautiful Mind and Soul, Convan. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article on my blog.
Written and Publish on Nov 13 2005, 01:05 AM
Zee walked out of the stylishly decorated office with his best buddies, Issac and KK. The three of them are fresh graduates from NUS and had just nabbed employments with the most well known investor relations and risk management public relations firm in town.
Issac, standing at a strapping height of 180cm, is lean and toned. He loves to swim and cycle and takes part in biathlon annually. Armed with a boyish look, tanned and smooth complexion, Issac is naturally smooth all over and is a proud and out homosexual. His equally attractive brother, Mach, is one of the directors of the public relations company and he is the one who offered the jobs to the three of them.
KK, manly mannerisms and looks matured for his age, is always the brainy and quick thinker of the trio. He is slightly shorter than Issac but has a more defined muscular built. He is a hardcore gymmer and though he is fair, his manly looks and silent strong behaviour always stood him out as an alpha male. His sexual orientation is always the discussion topic between Zee and Issac.
Zee, the most mischievous of the lot, is also the most attractive. Even taller than Issac, Zee has a well defined and delicate facial features and is frequently referred to being a Japanese or Korean. He is extremely confident of his looks and knows how to work his charms to his advantage. He is aware of Issac's liking with him but refused to acknowledge and at times, he is jealous of KK's manly charms even though the three of them had been buddies since their army days.
"Whoa! Thanks Issac, if it is not you, we would not have been able to join the firm and got such a comprehensive salary package." said KK. Zee, whose hands are slung over Issac's shoulders replied, "Well, of course he has to help us. His brother is a director in there! And we are his best buddies! Not forgetting that we also shared same undies before!"
Issac stole a quick look at Zee, admiring his good looks and strong palms resting on his shoulders, just smiled and said nothing. They have their late lunch at Burger King and looking at the burger and fries, Zee thought to himself, "I am going to be successful and lunch at fancy restaurants in the future. This is so not for me, I am going to fulfill my dreams at all cost."
Issac asked," Do you guys want to bunk over my place tonight? We can play cards and catch some dvds that my bro bought back from the states. We can have some Gordon bleu to celebrate our first jobs! I am sure my bro wouldn't mind."
"If I don't have to spend a single cent, I am fine with any suggestions!" laughed Zee. KK looked at Zee, shook his head slowly and said with a smile, "I don't think we should do that. Your brother is going to be our boss soon and it is better we thread carefully and not get into his bad books."
"You just think too much, KK! Why would us drinking and chilling at Issac's place get us into Mach's bad books? Of all things, it will be a good opportunity to know Mach on a personal basis and hopefully makes us working with him much easier in the future!" argued Zee.
Issac interrupted, "My bro will not be home tonight. He is spending the night at one of his girlfriends' place. So we will not be disturbed or judged." Zee moaned, "You mean Mach is not gay? He is so hot and muscular. Such a pity that he bends the conventional way." KK throws a disapproving look at Zee for his comments.
Exclaimer: I am not the writer to this exciting story. But I am proud to introduce a Beautiful Mind and Soul, Convan. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article on my blog.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
(Screening 11) Bishonen :: 美少年之恋
Actors: Stephen Fung Tak-Lun(Jet), Daniel Wu (Sam), Shu Qi.
Synopsis: Bishonen tells of a love tangle between two gigolos, a pop star and a young cop. This is a movie ultimately about how these beautiful young men deal with love and sexuality. In Jet’s case, it’s a matter of lust versus love. Self-confident and preening, Jet (a Male Hustler) only loses his power when he falls under Sam’s spell. On the other hand, Sam (a Young Cop) is constantly in control - or so it seems. Eventually he gives into emotion, too, and the results prove disastrous. Daniel Wu’s opaque performance is the center of the film, and it’s most effective considering much hinges on his next move.
An official selection to the 1998 Toronto Film Festival, this art-house film from celebrated photographer Yeung Fan is a gay love story of the most emotionally involved kind.
My Comments(5/5): The story is worth a 4 points but the additional one point is given to the beautiful actors in the show. From this story, we were hit by the reality whereby everyone knows everyone in the circle and love is a big force where you do anything and everything for your partner, whereas other would use their charms to use their lovers. There is also this sought for perfection to stand out and be desirable and to please everyone around him. There are always things that we did and regret, some would try to run while other would "punished" themselves, but many do not realized that facing the truth is actually not as hard as we thought. The show also presents the unthoughtful outcome for the people around us when we choose to run, hide or "punish" ourselves.
[Couldn't Find the Trailer] but same as Latter Days, you can
Watch Full Movie Online and YES it is FREE:
美少年之恋(Bishonen): Side A 美少年之恋(Bishonen): Side B
Song From the Movie: 李玟 - 答案
Synopsis: Bishonen tells of a love tangle between two gigolos, a pop star and a young cop. This is a movie ultimately about how these beautiful young men deal with love and sexuality. In Jet’s case, it’s a matter of lust versus love. Self-confident and preening, Jet (a Male Hustler) only loses his power when he falls under Sam’s spell. On the other hand, Sam (a Young Cop) is constantly in control - or so it seems. Eventually he gives into emotion, too, and the results prove disastrous. Daniel Wu’s opaque performance is the center of the film, and it’s most effective considering much hinges on his next move.
An official selection to the 1998 Toronto Film Festival, this art-house film from celebrated photographer Yeung Fan is a gay love story of the most emotionally involved kind.
My Comments(5/5): The story is worth a 4 points but the additional one point is given to the beautiful actors in the show. From this story, we were hit by the reality whereby everyone knows everyone in the circle and love is a big force where you do anything and everything for your partner, whereas other would use their charms to use their lovers. There is also this sought for perfection to stand out and be desirable and to please everyone around him. There are always things that we did and regret, some would try to run while other would "punished" themselves, but many do not realized that facing the truth is actually not as hard as we thought. The show also presents the unthoughtful outcome for the people around us when we choose to run, hide or "punish" ourselves.
[Couldn't Find the Trailer] but same as Latter Days, you can
Watch Full Movie Online and YES it is FREE:
美少年之恋(Bishonen): Side A 美少年之恋(Bishonen): Side B
Song From the Movie: 李玟 - 答案
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
(Issue 52) It had never End... [Drei]
continue...
Friday came, I extended my trip under the request of Cricà and Père. We headed down to PLAY and TABOO, I drunk to suppress all my mixed feelings that night. Orcièr offered to drive me back, I declined but she insisted. That night we were both messed-up, I was feeling even more depress as I was listening to 李聖傑-最近 [Sam Lee - Lately], almost crying to the lyrics. And just when I thought I could just sleep and forget everything, she drove the east-wards instead of west to my place. We quick changed our course of direction and of all the places, we went pass Nete's place. I couldn't resist but to message him what I really feel inside.
"Jus pass ur place. I miss u alot. I regret not hugging u tat night. Sorry but i do miss u." I didn't expect an immediate reply and I was a bit afraid to receive it, but luckily the reply was not as I expected. "Wru? Why pass my place? Me now in bombay. Bk tmr. U went clubbing?".
I followed this normal reply with another dramatic message,"Yes club. Then went wrong expressway.Sorry i know i am not right. But i cant control. I am very high now". Gladly he replied with another sensible message,"Take care of yrself k. U with Cricà rite? Go back take some tea and hv gd rest. Dun think so much." I replied "Orh".
I told Cricà, Orcièr and Huent the next day all my stupid messages I send during the past few days to Nete. I wasn't sure of what I want and how should he react? Why am I so confused? Should I had taken the extra step during my last visit instead of pushing him away? What am I afraid of and what is holding me back? What if I lose him forever?
I guess regardless or which step I make I am bound to face some positive and negative remarks and outcomes. I do not regard sending any of those messages because everything is true from my heart but it is just that I couldn't decide which step to take and how not to hurt either one of us.
Coming to terms with (coulda, shoulda, woulda or lucky)Me, (confusing) Myself and (wondering "What would someone else would do? Is there a perfect solution?")I.
Crying to the song: 孙燕姿 - 不能和你一起
结束还是原谅爱永远搁在远方. 眼神不会说话只有泪光, 你给过希望怎么能忘.
是你填满温暖让梦想有了翅膀, 教我如何控制风的方向, 让我每一天能飞到更远的地方.
不能和你一起拥有喜悦和悲伤, 不管走多远步伐都没有力量.
不能和你一起走往这世界幸福方向, 孤单的身旁少了坚强, 只有简单感伤
Translation: Can't be with you - Ended or Forgiven, Love had been left afar. (My) eyes couldn't express feelings as it has been filled with tears, who can ever forget the hopes that you gave me.
It's you who fill my dreams with care and gave it wings, you taught me how to control the direction of wind so that I can fly further each day.
Can't be with you to go through the ups and downs, it does matter how far I have been because I had lose strength to carry on walking.
Can't be with you to walk together towards a world of happiness, (My)loneliness is no longer accompanied with toughness, but with a simple kind of hurt.
Friday came, I extended my trip under the request of Cricà and Père. We headed down to PLAY and TABOO, I drunk to suppress all my mixed feelings that night. Orcièr offered to drive me back, I declined but she insisted. That night we were both messed-up, I was feeling even more depress as I was listening to 李聖傑-最近 [Sam Lee - Lately], almost crying to the lyrics. And just when I thought I could just sleep and forget everything, she drove the east-wards instead of west to my place. We quick changed our course of direction and of all the places, we went pass Nete's place. I couldn't resist but to message him what I really feel inside.
"Jus pass ur place. I miss u alot. I regret not hugging u tat night. Sorry but i do miss u." I didn't expect an immediate reply and I was a bit afraid to receive it, but luckily the reply was not as I expected. "Wru? Why pass my place? Me now in bombay. Bk tmr. U went clubbing?".
I followed this normal reply with another dramatic message,"Yes club. Then went wrong expressway.Sorry i know i am not right. But i cant control. I am very high now". Gladly he replied with another sensible message,"Take care of yrself k. U with Cricà rite? Go back take some tea and hv gd rest. Dun think so much." I replied "Orh".
I told Cricà, Orcièr and Huent the next day all my stupid messages I send during the past few days to Nete. I wasn't sure of what I want and how should he react? Why am I so confused? Should I had taken the extra step during my last visit instead of pushing him away? What am I afraid of and what is holding me back? What if I lose him forever?
I guess regardless or which step I make I am bound to face some positive and negative remarks and outcomes. I do not regard sending any of those messages because everything is true from my heart but it is just that I couldn't decide which step to take and how not to hurt either one of us.
Coming to terms with (coulda, shoulda, woulda or lucky)Me, (confusing) Myself and (wondering "What would someone else would do? Is there a perfect solution?")I.
Crying to the song: 孙燕姿 - 不能和你一起
结束还是原谅爱永远搁在远方. 眼神不会说话只有泪光, 你给过希望怎么能忘.
是你填满温暖让梦想有了翅膀, 教我如何控制风的方向, 让我每一天能飞到更远的地方.
不能和你一起拥有喜悦和悲伤, 不管走多远步伐都没有力量.
不能和你一起走往这世界幸福方向, 孤单的身旁少了坚强, 只有简单感伤
Translation: Can't be with you - Ended or Forgiven, Love had been left afar. (My) eyes couldn't express feelings as it has been filled with tears, who can ever forget the hopes that you gave me.
It's you who fill my dreams with care and gave it wings, you taught me how to control the direction of wind so that I can fly further each day.
Can't be with you to go through the ups and downs, it does matter how far I have been because I had lose strength to carry on walking.
Can't be with you to walk together towards a world of happiness, (My)loneliness is no longer accompanied with toughness, but with a simple kind of hurt.
Monday, April 30, 2007
(Booty Shaking 16) TomFord
Famous for bring back Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent back into the fashion light, with fans from every walks of life and multiple fashion awards, took the risk to venture out from Women's Wear to his own line of Menswear. We could tell it has a high chance of success by the way he dressed, but high hopes were pinned.
'Tom Ford' at Madison Avenue menswear store, the first under his own name. Quoted, "the shop's appeal will rest on exceptional service and immaculate clothes. Nearly everything (from underwear to fragrances) can be custom-designed, and the staff includes 12 salespeople, two tailors, and four seamstresses (there is even an on-site atelier, which Ford dramatically revealed by pulling back a curtain in one of the dressing rooms)".
The store is intended to have a residential feel, with many elements (beaver-skin rugs, oversize lamps, the sly Lucio Fontana artwork) coming from Ford's own collections. The design is 1930s-inspired, with a wet bar and even butlers and maids who will fetch you lunch during your appointment.
What ever it may be, the most important thing would be the design of his latest creation ready available to be judged by the mass public in New York.
'Tom Ford' at Madison Avenue menswear store, the first under his own name. Quoted, "the shop's appeal will rest on exceptional service and immaculate clothes. Nearly everything (from underwear to fragrances) can be custom-designed, and the staff includes 12 salespeople, two tailors, and four seamstresses (there is even an on-site atelier, which Ford dramatically revealed by pulling back a curtain in one of the dressing rooms)".
The store is intended to have a residential feel, with many elements (beaver-skin rugs, oversize lamps, the sly Lucio Fontana artwork) coming from Ford's own collections. The design is 1930s-inspired, with a wet bar and even butlers and maids who will fetch you lunch during your appointment.
What ever it may be, the most important thing would be the design of his latest creation ready available to be judged by the mass public in New York.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
(Issue 51) It had never End... [Zwei]
continue...
Wednesday finally came. I tried not to remember that he will be in ZOUK that night, so I had my entire day fully planned just to keep my mind off him. As the party time draws closer I couldn't resist but to drop by PLAY to have countless Martini with Père and Cricà. After my 3rd glass, Cricà told me to head down to ZOUK with him. A quick "No" was replied, followed by "Nete's there". Cricà,"He's not. He's on call tonight".
I took up his offer and went, I was surprised that Cricà walked in front and was on the phone and in less than a minute I saw Nete in front of me. I couldn't help but to think that Cricà planned it, I was pissed for a minute or two and told myself that what is done cannot be undone.
I went back to give Nete another hug and carried on the party with him and Cricà. Thereafter Nete's friend ask me along for Karaoke with them after the party. I hesitated, but I couldn't resist but to obliged after he made the second request.
Songs were played that clearly reminded us of the things we did together on the first three days of 2007, and when I looked into his eyes, as he sang them, my eyes watered and my heart melt, the defense was torn down immediately. I laid faced down on the sofa, hoping not to show any emotions, pretending to be asleep. The entire event end and we decided to leave the place. Everything seems to be an re-enactment, it was the same rainstorm we had when we parted. He invited me to his place, I reconfirmed before agreeing.
As we were waiting for his friend's car to arrive, we sat on the step and he laid his face on my lap. I could feel sadness, I told him to be strong and look at me, but he refused. I wanted to tell him that I still love him while looking straight in his eyes, but couldn't after he sang,"我以为我会报复但是我没有" over and over again. I was hurt yet touched.
He quickly jump into his bed when we reached, I covered him with his blanket, sat on the floor beside his bed and watched him sleep. I was happy, although it was cold but the look of his face kept me warmth. I could choose to leave but I didn't, I could choose to hug him but I didn't, all I could think of his to watch him sleep peacefully, and it is sufficient enough to make me happy.
As it was coming to be an hour towards noon, I woke him up for his appointment. I gentle planted a kiss on his forehead. Still sleepy, he replied that he want to snooze for another half hour. I told him that I need to leave for my appointment followed by a hug. This hug almost held me back as I thought of not letting go and accompanied him for that 30 minutes, but I didn't. I drag myself to leave his place.
Hours later, I send him a message.
"Its a great night. Thanks4inviting me over last night. It is great watching u sleep again.I want to let u know my feelings 4u had never change, but i choose a different path bcos of timing due to my work n more importantly, i dun 1 2c the person i love suffer-i couldn't fulfil ur need 2c ur lover everytime u come home.I also dun 1 2b selfish n hold u back,u'll meet sum1 soon. Trust me,ur feelings 4me will go off soon, plus it would be less hurtful now than if we really get together.I'm sorry 4everythin i did n hope u understand. U got gd friends so cherish them. I wanna meet u again 4 a proper dinner b4 i fly as friends,so no stress ok?Tell me when will u b free"
to be continued...
Coming to terms with (unsure of what I want) Me, (trying to control the situation) Myself and I (still harbor feelings for him).
Crying in the rain to: Sandy Lam - 領悟
我以为我会哭但是我没有
我只是怔怔望著你的脚步给你我最后的祝福
这何尝不是一种领悟让我把自己看清楚
虽然无爱的痛苦将日日夜夜在我灵魂最深处
我以为我会报复但是我没有
当我看到我深爱过的男人竟然像孩子一样无助
这何尝不是一种领悟让你把自己看清楚
被爱是奢侈的幸福可惜你从来不在乎
啊一段感情就此结束
啊一颗心眼看要荒芜
我们的爱若是错误愿你我没有白白受苦
若曾真心真意付出就应该满足
啊多么痛的领悟你曾是我的全部
只是我回首来时路的每一步都走的好孤独
啊多么痛的领悟你曾是我的全部
只愿你挣脱情的枷锁爱的束缚
任意追逐别再为爱受苦
Translation: Apprehension - I suppose I would cry, but I didn't.
I just silently stared at your ongoing steps and gave you my last blessings.
Could it be said as a kind of apprehension so that I could see through myself.
Though the misery of loveless would last in my soul deeply forever nights and days
I suppose I would revenge you, but i didn't
When I saw the man I used to love is as helpless as a child...
Could it be said as apprehension so that you could see through yourself...
What's a luxurious happiness of being loved; however it's such a pity that you had never cherished it.
Alas, my love is going to terminate;
Alas, my heart is going to empty;
If our love would be a fault, I wish we didn't just suffer without learning anything.
If we had ever given out all our hearts, we should feel content.
Alas, how painful the apprehension is!! You used to be everything to me
Just whenever I reflect what I had gone through. Every step I'd walked is full of isolation
Alas, how painful the apprehension is, You used to be my everything.
I wish you could free yourself from cuffs and restraint of love to chase whatever you want in your life
Don't suffer from love anymore
Wednesday finally came. I tried not to remember that he will be in ZOUK that night, so I had my entire day fully planned just to keep my mind off him. As the party time draws closer I couldn't resist but to drop by PLAY to have countless Martini with Père and Cricà. After my 3rd glass, Cricà told me to head down to ZOUK with him. A quick "No" was replied, followed by "Nete's there". Cricà,"He's not. He's on call tonight".
I took up his offer and went, I was surprised that Cricà walked in front and was on the phone and in less than a minute I saw Nete in front of me. I couldn't help but to think that Cricà planned it, I was pissed for a minute or two and told myself that what is done cannot be undone.
I went back to give Nete another hug and carried on the party with him and Cricà. Thereafter Nete's friend ask me along for Karaoke with them after the party. I hesitated, but I couldn't resist but to obliged after he made the second request.
Songs were played that clearly reminded us of the things we did together on the first three days of 2007, and when I looked into his eyes, as he sang them, my eyes watered and my heart melt, the defense was torn down immediately. I laid faced down on the sofa, hoping not to show any emotions, pretending to be asleep. The entire event end and we decided to leave the place. Everything seems to be an re-enactment, it was the same rainstorm we had when we parted. He invited me to his place, I reconfirmed before agreeing.
As we were waiting for his friend's car to arrive, we sat on the step and he laid his face on my lap. I could feel sadness, I told him to be strong and look at me, but he refused. I wanted to tell him that I still love him while looking straight in his eyes, but couldn't after he sang,"我以为我会报复但是我没有" over and over again. I was hurt yet touched.
He quickly jump into his bed when we reached, I covered him with his blanket, sat on the floor beside his bed and watched him sleep. I was happy, although it was cold but the look of his face kept me warmth. I could choose to leave but I didn't, I could choose to hug him but I didn't, all I could think of his to watch him sleep peacefully, and it is sufficient enough to make me happy.
As it was coming to be an hour towards noon, I woke him up for his appointment. I gentle planted a kiss on his forehead. Still sleepy, he replied that he want to snooze for another half hour. I told him that I need to leave for my appointment followed by a hug. This hug almost held me back as I thought of not letting go and accompanied him for that 30 minutes, but I didn't. I drag myself to leave his place.
Hours later, I send him a message.
"Its a great night. Thanks4inviting me over last night. It is great watching u sleep again.I want to let u know my feelings 4u had never change, but i choose a different path bcos of timing due to my work n more importantly, i dun 1 2c the person i love suffer-i couldn't fulfil ur need 2c ur lover everytime u come home.I also dun 1 2b selfish n hold u back,u'll meet sum1 soon. Trust me,ur feelings 4me will go off soon, plus it would be less hurtful now than if we really get together.I'm sorry 4everythin i did n hope u understand. U got gd friends so cherish them. I wanna meet u again 4 a proper dinner b4 i fly as friends,so no stress ok?Tell me when will u b free"
to be continued...
Coming to terms with (unsure of what I want) Me, (trying to control the situation) Myself and I (still harbor feelings for him).
Crying in the rain to: Sandy Lam - 領悟
我以为我会哭但是我没有
我只是怔怔望著你的脚步给你我最后的祝福
这何尝不是一种领悟让我把自己看清楚
虽然无爱的痛苦将日日夜夜在我灵魂最深处
我以为我会报复但是我没有
当我看到我深爱过的男人竟然像孩子一样无助
这何尝不是一种领悟让你把自己看清楚
被爱是奢侈的幸福可惜你从来不在乎
啊一段感情就此结束
啊一颗心眼看要荒芜
我们的爱若是错误愿你我没有白白受苦
若曾真心真意付出就应该满足
啊多么痛的领悟你曾是我的全部
只是我回首来时路的每一步都走的好孤独
啊多么痛的领悟你曾是我的全部
只愿你挣脱情的枷锁爱的束缚
任意追逐别再为爱受苦
Translation: Apprehension - I suppose I would cry, but I didn't.
I just silently stared at your ongoing steps and gave you my last blessings.
Could it be said as a kind of apprehension so that I could see through myself.
Though the misery of loveless would last in my soul deeply forever nights and days
I suppose I would revenge you, but i didn't
When I saw the man I used to love is as helpless as a child...
Could it be said as apprehension so that you could see through yourself...
What's a luxurious happiness of being loved; however it's such a pity that you had never cherished it.
Alas, my love is going to terminate;
Alas, my heart is going to empty;
If our love would be a fault, I wish we didn't just suffer without learning anything.
If we had ever given out all our hearts, we should feel content.
Alas, how painful the apprehension is!! You used to be everything to me
Just whenever I reflect what I had gone through. Every step I'd walked is full of isolation
Alas, how painful the apprehension is, You used to be my everything.
I wish you could free yourself from cuffs and restraint of love to chase whatever you want in your life
Don't suffer from love anymore
Saturday, April 28, 2007
(Love Tales No. 2) Thou shall never end.
Exclaimer: I had found another writer who has an interesting story to tell. His story touches my soul and at the same time made inspired a few of my issues. I am proud to introduce the kind and simple Desmond. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article in my blog.
Part 5 of 5Written and Publish on Sep 9 2005, 04:06 AM
Wayne's parents were seated in the living room watching the TV. When Wayne led me into the living room, their mood darkened immediately.
Wayne strolled over and switched off the TV. The tension grew so thick that it could literally snap anytime. "Mom and Dad, I believe it is time we have a good talk with you."
Wayne's Dad was willing to have an honest conversation. "Wayne, we are doing this for your own good. We don't want you to be confused. What kind of life are you leading without a proper family or child?"
"Dad, I was born with that sexual orientation and I want to make the most out of my life. I care about how you and Mom feel but it is my personal happiness I am talking about. It is hard to find someone whom I love, whom I feel committed to and here you are depriving me of a chance at happiness because you are colored by prejudice."
Wayne held my hand and reiterated, "Mom, Alvin did not point a gun at me. He did not fool me, and if anything, it was I who wanted to be together with him."
I glanced at Wayne's courageous front and felt a sense of pride blooming inside me. "Auntie and Uncle, I do know that you love Wayne very much. I can promise you that I love Wayne, too. If not, I won't commit myself to this relationship. If he feels happier with someone else, I am willing to let him go. I feel proud of Wayne today because he loves you enough to get your blessing. We could have carried on secretly but we didn't have the heart to lie to you."
My tears streamed down uncontrollably. "I am not asking you to accept me but I am asking you to respect Wayne's decision in his happiness. I want him to be happy too."
Wayne's Mom recognized my sincerity and asked softly, "Wayne, are you happy with him?"
Wayne looked at me in a veil of unshed tears. "Yes."
Wayne's father looked at his wife for a moment and said, "If that is what our son wants, so be it. I don't want to end up losing my son." Wayne's Mom nodded reluctantly.
With a broad smile, Wayne jumped and hugged his parents gratefully. "Thank you, Mom and Dad."
I was too happy for words and all I could think of was just thanking them profusely.
His Mom faced me quietly and pleaded, "Take good care of my son."
At that moment, I saw the essence of a Mother's unconditional love for his son. How difficult it was for her to let her son pursue his own road to happiness.
I smiled at Wayne and replied, "I promise you that, Auntie."
*
After we sent Wayne's parents off on Saturday, we decided to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon just doing nothing. The two of us sprawled on the white sofa and watched the Japanese chanteuse Misia belting out 'live' a beautiful ballad 'Everything' from her concert DVD. The staging was spectacular with the orchestra offering majestic support. She was framed in a white and silver dress, looking like a virginal bride celebrating a poignant paean of love.
I met you by chance in the midst of passing time
It's amazing, isn't it? That such a miracle should be so close by
Still missing you, the time passes and I can't see you
Slipping through the door, I remember once again
You laughing with that person
My beloved, please don't make me sad
There are nights when I cry myself to sleep
Don't look at the past, just look at me
You're everything, you're everything
I'm stronger than you think
I don't want any kind lies
All I want is you
How long a time can be called forever?
I want to go with you far, far into the future
I want to peek at those days with you
My beloved, please hold me
Like you always do, in the midst of time's tenderness
Hold my hand, look just at the present
You're everything, you're everything
Even if I'm apart from you
If we could see each other, I'd surely forgive you
Any night
You're everything, you're everything
I'm strong enough to dream of you
Now let's change the power to love
Into courage
You're everything, you're everything
Even if I'm apart from you
If we could see each other, it would all disappear
Even the pain in my heart
You're everything, you're everything
I'm stronger than you think
I don't want any kind lies
All I want is you
You're everything...
As she finished her hypnotic performance, both Wayne and I looked at each other. Even though we couldn't comprehend most of the Japanese lyrics, the singer managed to convey her language of love through the swings of emotions.
Wayne lowered his head and kissed me with the gentleness of a snowflake caressing the ground. His tenderness made my knees weak and my heart melt languidly.
Wayne cooed softly, "I will never get tired of saying 'I love you'. Each time you manage to surprise me more and more."
He may be the most ordinary guy but he is my everything.
And when the thunderous applause from the concert audience came, it really sounded like joyful bells ringing - and celebrating our hard-earned personal victory.
I knew this didn't mark the closing chapter of our love story but my heart was singing as I held Wayne's gaze, knowing that the rest of the journey will be wonderful with him by my side.
Exclaimer: I had found another writer who has an interesting story to tell. His story touches my soul and at the same time made inspired a few of my issues. I am proud to introduce the kind and simple Desmond. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article in my blog.
Part 5 of 5Written and Publish on Sep 9 2005, 04:06 AM
Wayne's parents were seated in the living room watching the TV. When Wayne led me into the living room, their mood darkened immediately.
Wayne strolled over and switched off the TV. The tension grew so thick that it could literally snap anytime. "Mom and Dad, I believe it is time we have a good talk with you."
Wayne's Dad was willing to have an honest conversation. "Wayne, we are doing this for your own good. We don't want you to be confused. What kind of life are you leading without a proper family or child?"
"Dad, I was born with that sexual orientation and I want to make the most out of my life. I care about how you and Mom feel but it is my personal happiness I am talking about. It is hard to find someone whom I love, whom I feel committed to and here you are depriving me of a chance at happiness because you are colored by prejudice."
Wayne held my hand and reiterated, "Mom, Alvin did not point a gun at me. He did not fool me, and if anything, it was I who wanted to be together with him."
I glanced at Wayne's courageous front and felt a sense of pride blooming inside me. "Auntie and Uncle, I do know that you love Wayne very much. I can promise you that I love Wayne, too. If not, I won't commit myself to this relationship. If he feels happier with someone else, I am willing to let him go. I feel proud of Wayne today because he loves you enough to get your blessing. We could have carried on secretly but we didn't have the heart to lie to you."
My tears streamed down uncontrollably. "I am not asking you to accept me but I am asking you to respect Wayne's decision in his happiness. I want him to be happy too."
Wayne's Mom recognized my sincerity and asked softly, "Wayne, are you happy with him?"
Wayne looked at me in a veil of unshed tears. "Yes."
Wayne's father looked at his wife for a moment and said, "If that is what our son wants, so be it. I don't want to end up losing my son." Wayne's Mom nodded reluctantly.
With a broad smile, Wayne jumped and hugged his parents gratefully. "Thank you, Mom and Dad."
I was too happy for words and all I could think of was just thanking them profusely.
His Mom faced me quietly and pleaded, "Take good care of my son."
At that moment, I saw the essence of a Mother's unconditional love for his son. How difficult it was for her to let her son pursue his own road to happiness.
I smiled at Wayne and replied, "I promise you that, Auntie."
*
After we sent Wayne's parents off on Saturday, we decided to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon just doing nothing. The two of us sprawled on the white sofa and watched the Japanese chanteuse Misia belting out 'live' a beautiful ballad 'Everything' from her concert DVD. The staging was spectacular with the orchestra offering majestic support. She was framed in a white and silver dress, looking like a virginal bride celebrating a poignant paean of love.
I met you by chance in the midst of passing time
It's amazing, isn't it? That such a miracle should be so close by
Still missing you, the time passes and I can't see you
Slipping through the door, I remember once again
You laughing with that person
My beloved, please don't make me sad
There are nights when I cry myself to sleep
Don't look at the past, just look at me
You're everything, you're everything
I'm stronger than you think
I don't want any kind lies
All I want is you
How long a time can be called forever?
I want to go with you far, far into the future
I want to peek at those days with you
My beloved, please hold me
Like you always do, in the midst of time's tenderness
Hold my hand, look just at the present
You're everything, you're everything
Even if I'm apart from you
If we could see each other, I'd surely forgive you
Any night
You're everything, you're everything
I'm strong enough to dream of you
Now let's change the power to love
Into courage
You're everything, you're everything
Even if I'm apart from you
If we could see each other, it would all disappear
Even the pain in my heart
You're everything, you're everything
I'm stronger than you think
I don't want any kind lies
All I want is you
You're everything...
As she finished her hypnotic performance, both Wayne and I looked at each other. Even though we couldn't comprehend most of the Japanese lyrics, the singer managed to convey her language of love through the swings of emotions.
Wayne lowered his head and kissed me with the gentleness of a snowflake caressing the ground. His tenderness made my knees weak and my heart melt languidly.
Wayne cooed softly, "I will never get tired of saying 'I love you'. Each time you manage to surprise me more and more."
He may be the most ordinary guy but he is my everything.
And when the thunderous applause from the concert audience came, it really sounded like joyful bells ringing - and celebrating our hard-earned personal victory.
I knew this didn't mark the closing chapter of our love story but my heart was singing as I held Wayne's gaze, knowing that the rest of the journey will be wonderful with him by my side.
Exclaimer: I had found another writer who has an interesting story to tell. His story touches my soul and at the same time made inspired a few of my issues. I am proud to introduce the kind and simple Desmond. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article in my blog.
Friday, April 27, 2007
(Issue 50) It had never End ...[Ein]
Nete, I thought I could but I couldn't.
I kept it from all my ex about my return, however I seem to bump onto one another with a different reaction for each.
Cason: We greeted each other with a Hi-Bye Diva hug and carried on our own party with our own friends.
Ensoé: Cricà couldn't confirm whether it was him dancing beside us, as he dress slight differently from his usual self, and since we were quite unsure and he didn't seem to recognize us, we carried on our party. However Cricà later confirmed it was him after bumping at the toilet but I was no longer present to greet him.
Savur: He was the only one I informed because I never failed to enjoy his company and presence. We made several appointments but kept postponing due to our busy schedule.
Peit: My friend told me that he was in the club, at a certain spot, and my decision was to avoid him, only because I know that he would blame me for not letting him know that I am back. Hey, Peit, we shall meet when I return in July.
Nete: He brought the Drama Mama in me back to life.
I told myself before I returned to Singapore that I will not get myself involve in any situation again like I did previously, and I was delighted that I was able to make it home on the first two nights of partying and feel great at the same time.
However came Sunday night, I bumped into Nete and he told me that he is partying alone. I thought, "Well, I should be able to handle the situation well". I gave him a hug, and with this hug everything (i.e. my feelings and emotions) returned to me in a zap. The hug was actually something I had been longing for since we last met and it actually meant more than any words could describe.
He kept it cool and tried to avoid my lips against his, so I respected that. We danced and party with Cricà, my FEMME (Huent) and our friends. There were occasional hugs and playful bites on both our shoulders and arms. However, strong emotions and beautiful memories flashes in my mind, every time he is not around me. Quickly, I told Huent to make sure that I stay away from all possible temptation and return home that night.
As the party was getting to an end, I bid him farewell and told him that I will be having supper with my friends. I also make sure that he knows I would be flying back to China on Friday. He decided to stay, and I was half relieved, thinking that I will be going back at night but misses him at the same time. But he changed the situation by saying that he would message me after his party to see where we will be having supper.
Père was high and he decided to cancel the supper and continue his party over at the CLINIC. I couldn't party on and choose to return home with Huent. As we were on the way home, I received his message. I forced myself to give a cold reply," Heading Home, Supper Canceled". But I couldn't help to sent another message the next minute and asked him to take care. Soon he replied,"Will be at ZOUK on Wednesday". My heart longed for him again.
to be continued...
Coming to terms with (trying to be strong) Me, (controlling) Myself and (misses him dearly) I.
Singing in the rain to the tunes of: 李聖傑-最近
你最近不说话, 怎麽了为什麽
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单, 有点乱 有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁
你想要的, 我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的, 却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你[*我]常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我[*你]覺得是所有的一切早就已結束
不想再約束 不要再痛苦, 下一次會有更好的情路
爱我却不能给你我全部
这一次我们都能很幸福
Translation: Lately- You’ve been very quiet lately. What’s wrong? Why?
Is there something that’s making you unhappy?
I heard that you’re very lonely lately. A little confused, a little lost
But I can’t be by your side right now.
What you want, I can’t give you
There are some parts of me I cannot give you
What I do give you, that’s not what you want to possess
We are not a good match but we just can’t call it quits
How many times have we held each other wanting to cry?
You [*I] often say all this that had happened is only the beginning,
But I [*You] feel like all of this had ended a long time ago
I don’t want to end this but I also don’t want to hurt anymore
Next time there will be an easier way
(I) LOVE, but I can't give you everything whole-heartily
This time, it is possible for both of us to be happy
I kept it from all my ex about my return, however I seem to bump onto one another with a different reaction for each.
Cason: We greeted each other with a Hi-Bye Diva hug and carried on our own party with our own friends.
Ensoé: Cricà couldn't confirm whether it was him dancing beside us, as he dress slight differently from his usual self, and since we were quite unsure and he didn't seem to recognize us, we carried on our party. However Cricà later confirmed it was him after bumping at the toilet but I was no longer present to greet him.
Savur: He was the only one I informed because I never failed to enjoy his company and presence. We made several appointments but kept postponing due to our busy schedule.
Peit: My friend told me that he was in the club, at a certain spot, and my decision was to avoid him, only because I know that he would blame me for not letting him know that I am back. Hey, Peit, we shall meet when I return in July.
Nete: He brought the Drama Mama in me back to life.
I told myself before I returned to Singapore that I will not get myself involve in any situation again like I did previously, and I was delighted that I was able to make it home on the first two nights of partying and feel great at the same time.
However came Sunday night, I bumped into Nete and he told me that he is partying alone. I thought, "Well, I should be able to handle the situation well". I gave him a hug, and with this hug everything (i.e. my feelings and emotions) returned to me in a zap. The hug was actually something I had been longing for since we last met and it actually meant more than any words could describe.
He kept it cool and tried to avoid my lips against his, so I respected that. We danced and party with Cricà, my FEMME (Huent) and our friends. There were occasional hugs and playful bites on both our shoulders and arms. However, strong emotions and beautiful memories flashes in my mind, every time he is not around me. Quickly, I told Huent to make sure that I stay away from all possible temptation and return home that night.
As the party was getting to an end, I bid him farewell and told him that I will be having supper with my friends. I also make sure that he knows I would be flying back to China on Friday. He decided to stay, and I was half relieved, thinking that I will be going back at night but misses him at the same time. But he changed the situation by saying that he would message me after his party to see where we will be having supper.
Père was high and he decided to cancel the supper and continue his party over at the CLINIC. I couldn't party on and choose to return home with Huent. As we were on the way home, I received his message. I forced myself to give a cold reply," Heading Home, Supper Canceled". But I couldn't help to sent another message the next minute and asked him to take care. Soon he replied,"Will be at ZOUK on Wednesday". My heart longed for him again.
to be continued...
Coming to terms with (trying to be strong) Me, (controlling) Myself and (misses him dearly) I.
Singing in the rain to the tunes of: 李聖傑-最近
你最近不说话, 怎麽了为什麽
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单, 有点乱 有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁
你想要的, 我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的, 却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你[*我]常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我[*你]覺得是所有的一切早就已結束
不想再約束 不要再痛苦, 下一次會有更好的情路
爱我却不能给你我全部
这一次我们都能很幸福
Translation: Lately- You’ve been very quiet lately. What’s wrong? Why?
Is there something that’s making you unhappy?
I heard that you’re very lonely lately. A little confused, a little lost
But I can’t be by your side right now.
What you want, I can’t give you
There are some parts of me I cannot give you
What I do give you, that’s not what you want to possess
We are not a good match but we just can’t call it quits
How many times have we held each other wanting to cry?
You [*I] often say all this that had happened is only the beginning,
But I [*You] feel like all of this had ended a long time ago
I don’t want to end this but I also don’t want to hurt anymore
Next time there will be an easier way
(I) LOVE, but I can't give you everything whole-heartily
This time, it is possible for both of us to be happy
Thursday, April 26, 2007
(Love Tales No.2) Holding On
Exclaimer: I had found another writer who has an interesting story to tell. His story touches my soul and at the same time made inspired a few of my issues. I am proud to introduce the kind and simple Desmond. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article in my blog.
Part 4 of 5Written and Publish on Sep 9 2005, 03:57 AM
"Auntie, I am here to pick Alvin up." Wayne requested politely as Mom invited him in.
When Wayne saw me, the tension in his face visibly lightened. He just came forward and took my hands, "I am sorry for what happened."
I shook my head and said, "It is okay. I hope you didn't tell them off or anything."
Mom interrupted our talk and took both our hands together. "Believe me, it will work out. It just takes some time." I was touched by that comforting gesture.
"Thanks, Auntie. I am so sorry to have put Alvin through this."
Mom understood the situation. "If the two of you chose this path, it's something that has to be faced sooner or later. Wayne, I know it wasn't easy for you to break the news to your parents."
Wayne's mood brightened considerably. "Thanks Auntie, I would really like to stay for dinner but I'd better check on my folks as soon as possible."
"All the best and let me know if you need any help."
At that moment, I knew Mom was one extraordinary woman. She did not have lots of education but she did have a beautiful mind - a mind that had so much altruistic love and consideration for her child. I embraced her abruptly and whispered with a choked tone, "Thank you, Mom."
Her eyes were shining with love as she waved goodbye to Wayne and me.
*
"I apologize if I sound a little abrupt over the phone. I was so scared you would leave me." Wayne drew me closer into a tight embrace as we entered the lift. His tone was cracked with emotions taut like an arched bow.
I rested my head on his chest and squeezed him fondly. "How could you have such a low confidence in me?" His eyes held a sheen of tears as he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "It wasn't easy for us to be together. You only saw me as a friend until Derrick gave you up. I am not going to let you go so easily after all that courtship to convince you of my love."
A nascent laugh bubbled inside me. "You still think I would go back to Derrick?"
Wayne flashed me a look of insecurity and silently nodded. "I am not handsome, rich, funny?"
"But you're everything that I ask for in a partner, a friend and a confidante."
My tears trickled down as I marveled at the miracle of meeting Wayne, having our first date and how our fate intertwined together. We wanted to show others that a gay couple could find meaningful love and friendship. I was tired of bumping around, having fun and ending up even more empty. Happiness was elusive but we made such a hard effort at realizing the dream. Our love matured as we crossed one obstacle after another.
I held his hands and kissed him with my tears streaming down in small rivulets. I was so grateful to God for having him, Mom and my brother around in my life. The strength in me suddenly surged like electricity.
"I love you, Wayne. Trust me, we will get through it."
Wayne smiled and nodded. He gently dabbed my tears with a tissue, picked up my hand and led me out of the lift confidently to fight our next battle.
Exclaimer: I had found another writer who has an interesting story to tell. His story touches my soul and at the same time made inspired a few of my issues. I am proud to introduce the kind and simple Desmond. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article in my blog.
Part 4 of 5Written and Publish on Sep 9 2005, 03:57 AM
"Auntie, I am here to pick Alvin up." Wayne requested politely as Mom invited him in.
When Wayne saw me, the tension in his face visibly lightened. He just came forward and took my hands, "I am sorry for what happened."
I shook my head and said, "It is okay. I hope you didn't tell them off or anything."
Mom interrupted our talk and took both our hands together. "Believe me, it will work out. It just takes some time." I was touched by that comforting gesture.
"Thanks, Auntie. I am so sorry to have put Alvin through this."
Mom understood the situation. "If the two of you chose this path, it's something that has to be faced sooner or later. Wayne, I know it wasn't easy for you to break the news to your parents."
Wayne's mood brightened considerably. "Thanks Auntie, I would really like to stay for dinner but I'd better check on my folks as soon as possible."
"All the best and let me know if you need any help."
At that moment, I knew Mom was one extraordinary woman. She did not have lots of education but she did have a beautiful mind - a mind that had so much altruistic love and consideration for her child. I embraced her abruptly and whispered with a choked tone, "Thank you, Mom."
Her eyes were shining with love as she waved goodbye to Wayne and me.
*
"I apologize if I sound a little abrupt over the phone. I was so scared you would leave me." Wayne drew me closer into a tight embrace as we entered the lift. His tone was cracked with emotions taut like an arched bow.
I rested my head on his chest and squeezed him fondly. "How could you have such a low confidence in me?" His eyes held a sheen of tears as he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "It wasn't easy for us to be together. You only saw me as a friend until Derrick gave you up. I am not going to let you go so easily after all that courtship to convince you of my love."
A nascent laugh bubbled inside me. "You still think I would go back to Derrick?"
Wayne flashed me a look of insecurity and silently nodded. "I am not handsome, rich, funny?"
"But you're everything that I ask for in a partner, a friend and a confidante."
My tears trickled down as I marveled at the miracle of meeting Wayne, having our first date and how our fate intertwined together. We wanted to show others that a gay couple could find meaningful love and friendship. I was tired of bumping around, having fun and ending up even more empty. Happiness was elusive but we made such a hard effort at realizing the dream. Our love matured as we crossed one obstacle after another.
I held his hands and kissed him with my tears streaming down in small rivulets. I was so grateful to God for having him, Mom and my brother around in my life. The strength in me suddenly surged like electricity.
"I love you, Wayne. Trust me, we will get through it."
Wayne smiled and nodded. He gently dabbed my tears with a tissue, picked up my hand and led me out of the lift confidently to fight our next battle.
Exclaimer: I had found another writer who has an interesting story to tell. His story touches my soul and at the same time made inspired a few of my issues. I am proud to introduce the kind and simple Desmond. Thanks for allowing me to re-post this article in my blog.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
(Issue 49) Take Care, Cricà.
I am postponing the publishing date for most of my blog articles, as they would reveal that I am presently back in Singapore. I also decided to keep this trip low key, as there are only two purpose to this trip, one of which is business related while the other is personal. One of my closest soulmate is leaving for Taiwan for a year or two and this gradually lessen the chance of us meeting up again when I return to Singapore, therefore I am going to delicate most of my personal time to him.
Our friendship started in the most awkward way, but we later become friends who club and drink together, check out cute guys, speak our minds and feelings freely to one another and not forgetting constant bitching. Thank you for being there for almost all of the time I feel down. It would not be easy now that we are still quite uncertain how frequent he can go online but I am sure our friendship will last.
Both of us click in many ways but ironically it seems that both of us do not know how to handle our relationship problems when we were placed in a situation of a possible one-sided love, and many times our advises for one another is like the blind leading the blind. However I do realize that no matter what logical advise might be said to us by anyone, we will still always choose to follow our heart and guts, and live by our own decisions, regardless it is right or wrong. I guess it is because every sentence or expression has it's positive and negative sides, the important thing is that we are able to live by it and not live to regret not doing it.
I guess our friendship had became special as he had become another essential type of listening ear every fortunate gay man wishes to have. They are those that we could ask for advises, which straight men can never understood, and be slightly drama over our relationship matters without be prejudice by. 'Love, Care and Concern' is shown for one another, but it is of a different type we give to our lovers. I guess if we were to remain single when we are old (spit, better not), we know that we have each other to depend on, a "Sisterly Love".
Thanks, Cricà. Take Care, Safe Journey and Remember to Follow your Heart.
Coming to terms with (having one less pal to club with)Me, (checking out cute guys by)Myself and (will miss u and the things we do)I.
Dancing to one of his favourite driving dance tunes: Madonna - Get Together
Can we get together, I really, I really wanna be with you
Come and check it out with me, I hope you, I hope you feel the same way too
I searched, I searched, I searched my whole life
To find, find, find the secret, But all I did was open up my eyes
Baby we can do it, we can do it all right
Do you believe that we can change the future
Do you believe I can make you feel better
Not the original video, it's a mix done by frantonio
Our friendship started in the most awkward way, but we later become friends who club and drink together, check out cute guys, speak our minds and feelings freely to one another and not forgetting constant bitching. Thank you for being there for almost all of the time I feel down. It would not be easy now that we are still quite uncertain how frequent he can go online but I am sure our friendship will last.
Both of us click in many ways but ironically it seems that both of us do not know how to handle our relationship problems when we were placed in a situation of a possible one-sided love, and many times our advises for one another is like the blind leading the blind. However I do realize that no matter what logical advise might be said to us by anyone, we will still always choose to follow our heart and guts, and live by our own decisions, regardless it is right or wrong. I guess it is because every sentence or expression has it's positive and negative sides, the important thing is that we are able to live by it and not live to regret not doing it.
I guess our friendship had became special as he had become another essential type of listening ear every fortunate gay man wishes to have. They are those that we could ask for advises, which straight men can never understood, and be slightly drama over our relationship matters without be prejudice by. 'Love, Care and Concern' is shown for one another, but it is of a different type we give to our lovers. I guess if we were to remain single when we are old (spit, better not), we know that we have each other to depend on, a "Sisterly Love".
Thanks, Cricà. Take Care, Safe Journey and Remember to Follow your Heart.
Coming to terms with (having one less pal to club with)Me, (checking out cute guys by)Myself and (will miss u and the things we do)I.
Dancing to one of his favourite driving dance tunes: Madonna - Get Together
Can we get together, I really, I really wanna be with you
Come and check it out with me, I hope you, I hope you feel the same way too
I searched, I searched, I searched my whole life
To find, find, find the secret, But all I did was open up my eyes
Baby we can do it, we can do it all right
Do you believe that we can change the future
Do you believe I can make you feel better
Not the original video, it's a mix done by frantonio
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