"Giving"; actions to show your affections of love to another, I am not referring to the physical objects that can be brought with money. When we are in love, we show extra care to our lovers when they are sick or tired, we drop an SMS to our lovers whenever we miss them when they are not around, we defend our lover when someone else wronged him, etc, etc. Everyone has their own set of actions they will do to show their affections to their love ones, but however how many are there were able to 'give' and not ask for any return or an acknowledgement? What happens when one party 'give' more than the other?
Many of times we do little actions to show our affections of love without condition in a relationship and not ask for anything in return, but subconsciously, as time goes, most would begin to wonder if the receiver had began to take things for granted. And the worst that could happen in such cases, is when they start to compare who loves the other party more. There is no scale in life that measures love and therefore shouldn't be compared. Secondly, everyone grade every actions differently in life.
I had learn that "Giving" is a great present by itself, as the action of 'giving' alone provides you a great sense of fulfilment. If you see the picture another way round, "If having someone to love you is the best gift in life, isn't your actions of giving now being reverse to returning the gift?" [I do not know how to put it right in a sentence]
No matter what, we should never compare who gives more in a relationship or why doesn't he do the same in return, because all actions should come from the heart. BUT, contradicting again, you should make known to your lover what you like to see from him and what you think is healthly in a relationship, because everyone is brought up differently and therefore think differently. Sometimes the most obvious thing/actions to you could be the least obvious to him. Remember, communication is the key to a relation. Someone once told me, "Why is it so that a voice-impaired can speaks up for himself, communicates with others and sometimes takes the extra effort put his message thru to the common people like us, but a normal person like us dislike to communicate?".
Calen, I love you from the bottom of my heart and I can also feel your love to me. I couldn't say enough thank you for the things you had done and I have learn that many times all we ask from one other is a hug or a kiss, sometimes even the look in the eyes that expresses it all.
Coming to terms with (life is a continous learning process) Me, (and therefore still learning how to 'upgrade' and express) Myself and (thankfully for having Calen in my life) I.
Singing to the tunes of: Sonny & Cher - It's The Little Things
You're not the kind of guy
That make the girls all sigh
And they never turn their heads
And look when you walk by
But baby that's okay I love you anyway
And I never change or rearrange you
So stay that way
Cause it's the little things that mean a lot
It's what you are not what you got
Call my name and I'll come running
Look at me and the clouds start sunning
Hold my hand and you got me going
Kiss my lips and my mind starts going
We got a thing that won't stop cooking
You turn me on just by looking
You can make me strong just by sighing
You can break my heart just by crying
You're not the smartest man that I ever met
And every word you ever said I won't forget
And so I guess that's why until the day I die
When you're bad and make me sad
You're still my guy
Sunday, August 19, 2007
(Issue 68) A Different Angle to the Action: Compromise
Compromising... many times a couple is unaware of their minor actions of compromising when they are in love. This is the reason why everyone changes when they are in love, some changes their lifestyles, while others changes their behaviour and attitudes to certain "disapproving" actions (i.e. they react differently when the same actions came out from their friends, acquaintances and lover).
It was brought to my close attention that I tend to use the word "Anything" in my conversation too much. Positively, this could be a compromise which allows to receiver to act upon his own preference, but on the other hand, it could also mean that the sender couldn't be bother about the decision. What-so-ever, it doesn't matter, as 'Annything' is equivalent to not having the question answered at all. As both of caese the receiver is not given an option, unlike "Yes/No/But". And if the sender doesn't require an opinion, he could have acted base on his own decision without asking. Presently, thanks to creativity, the only time when "Anything" means sometime is when you order your choice of drink in a kopitiam.
Calen, I promise to reduce the use of "Anything" in our conversation, after knowing that it is a bad kind of compromise.
Another type of compromising is to "Compromise and Assume". Compromising is part and parcel of a relation but not to "Compromise and 'Make a [ASS] out of [U] and [ME]'". Many times either party of a couple would "forgive" a certain action that he is total un-agreeable on and wishes that the other party will notice the mistake himself. I personally, is against such compromise; firstly the latter most probably is unaware of his actions being a 'mistake', because it wasn't mentioned by the receiver that he couldn't accept it. Secondly, there would be a certain point of time the receiver couldn't take it anymore and decide to blow up. My guess is the other party would feel weird and strange that how come the receiver didn't sound off this dislike after so many occurrence but only today? Have he been compromising all along? Is it his fault for not noticing? Sadly this is how most quarrels starts.
I do hope that this doesn't happen to me, as I had seen far too many of these situations happening to people around me and they end up unpleasant. Thank god for giving me a Mature Calen, who has the same frequency as me.
Coming to terms with (realising that compromise is alright if it is made known to the other party) Me, (however isn't 'giving' suppose to be not expecting a return) Myself and (therefore again contradicting) I.
Listening to the tunes of: Mariah Carey - My All
I am thinking of you, In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you, Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I've drowned in you, And I won't pull through, Without you by my side
I'd give my all to have, Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel, Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on, Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight
Baby can you feel me, Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly, Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far, Like a distant star, I'm wishing on tonight
Give my all for your love, Tonight
It was brought to my close attention that I tend to use the word "Anything" in my conversation too much. Positively, this could be a compromise which allows to receiver to act upon his own preference, but on the other hand, it could also mean that the sender couldn't be bother about the decision. What-so-ever, it doesn't matter, as 'Annything' is equivalent to not having the question answered at all. As both of caese the receiver is not given an option, unlike "Yes/No/But". And if the sender doesn't require an opinion, he could have acted base on his own decision without asking. Presently, thanks to creativity, the only time when "Anything" means sometime is when you order your choice of drink in a kopitiam.
Calen, I promise to reduce the use of "Anything" in our conversation, after knowing that it is a bad kind of compromise.
Another type of compromising is to "Compromise and Assume". Compromising is part and parcel of a relation but not to "Compromise and 'Make a [ASS] out of [U] and [ME]'". Many times either party of a couple would "forgive" a certain action that he is total un-agreeable on and wishes that the other party will notice the mistake himself. I personally, is against such compromise; firstly the latter most probably is unaware of his actions being a 'mistake', because it wasn't mentioned by the receiver that he couldn't accept it. Secondly, there would be a certain point of time the receiver couldn't take it anymore and decide to blow up. My guess is the other party would feel weird and strange that how come the receiver didn't sound off this dislike after so many occurrence but only today? Have he been compromising all along? Is it his fault for not noticing? Sadly this is how most quarrels starts.
I do hope that this doesn't happen to me, as I had seen far too many of these situations happening to people around me and they end up unpleasant. Thank god for giving me a Mature Calen, who has the same frequency as me.
Coming to terms with (realising that compromise is alright if it is made known to the other party) Me, (however isn't 'giving' suppose to be not expecting a return) Myself and (therefore again contradicting) I.
Listening to the tunes of: Mariah Carey - My All
I am thinking of you, In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you, Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I've drowned in you, And I won't pull through, Without you by my side
I'd give my all to have, Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel, Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on, Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight
Baby can you feel me, Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly, Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far, Like a distant star, I'm wishing on tonight
Give my all for your love, Tonight
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