Saturday, February 16, 2008

(Issue 75) "Turn Back Time". LOL,just live on.

Recently many major events and situations happen around me, my closest kins and friends (people I care and love a lot), I couldn't help but to wonder - How do you define or determine every major action or move you made in your life is right or wrong? To me, I believe that everything has its pros and cons, its is just the difference in percentage.

Every changes would led to a butterfly effect, regardless how it is done or handled in a different way or the same actions done at a different timing, it will create a whole new story, a entire different situation and a different knowledge and lesson to be learned. I truly believe that as long as I am satisfied and glad with the route I had walked and route ahead that is presented to me, I have no regrets with all my rights and wrongdoings.

No one can guarantee you your future path,if the situation was handle "their way" by handling the situation differently. Positively looking, if not for my wrongdoings, I might not have learned my lessons better or achieve my almost perfect life now. Then again What is perfect? Is it having everything you want in life monetary or emotional wise? It sounds BULLSHIT to me as the limit to perfection is always unreachable. Mine perfection is something I could live without worries and guilt when I go to sleep every night. I don't deny there were sleepless nights and guilts, but at the same time I might not be here writing without them happening.

Obviously there are also things I strongly believe that should never be done, things that betrayed your believes, dishonesty that you have to live with for life and betrayal to people who trust you most. No one is a 100% but never "discount" yourself with your mis-actions and empty promises. Explanations and Promises are pointless and worthless, even to people who trust you most, let your actions speak for your way of life and principles.

What is done can never be erased or undone, but I believe the importance is to acknowledge and engrave the mistake deep in your heart and take it seriously. Constantly remind yourself that you will not step back into the same path and ask for forgiveness again. Friends, Kins and God can forgive you once but a repeat would show clearly your "sincereness" for forgiveness. Sorry is the hardest word to say, only because you have to follow up with your actions and promises.

Just follow your heart and live your way of life, the way you would regret and ask for an impossible chance of "Turn Back Time".

Coming into terms with (happy with my choice of life) Me, (understanding and learning my wrongdoings) Myself and (Baby) I (love the way you love me. Loving you always too).

Singing to the tune to: Cher - If I Could Turn Back Time

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay

I don't know why I did the things I did I don't know why I said the things I said
Love's like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons they wound sometimes.

I didn't really mean to heart you I didn't wanna see you go I know I made you cry, but baby

If I could turn back time If I could find a way I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay
If I could reach the stars I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me like you used to do

If I could turn back time

My world was shattered I was torn apart
Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart
You walked out that door I swore that I didn't care
But I lost everything darling then and there

Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong I know that I was blind, and ooh...