(Issue 5) Being Gay

Are you a proud gay individual? I know I am. Recently I met up with two friends (who knows each other) and are closet PLUs. The dinner was actually for them to acknowledge each other sexuality instead of suspecting. However, both of them find it difficult to bring up their sexuality preference, even when I was there with another special guy showing affections in front of them. This is a classic moment, which leads to two questions. Is it tough being gay? Is it important to gain consent from strangers and not worry about how they perceive you?

My opinion, Toughness is directly related to our Self-Acceptance and standards we set for ourselves. More than a big half worries about their parents thinking, I do understand this having lived in a more conservative part of the world for more than a quarter century. This is because you do not want to disappoint them just like the movie "Bishonen- 美少年之恋", we sometimes wonder did his parents blame him? Or had their love changed for him? To us we perceive that being gay is the gravest of all sins and afraid that to their parents they may be even worst than murderers. However, that is your point of view, and you will never know unless you tell them. Sometimes somethings are so obvious that you do not need to have a gay-dar to tell if your son is gay or straight, after all they were with you at least for one-third of your life.

My stand is that regardless of whether we were born gay or by choice, parents should understand that their brought up either speeds up or delay the process of our realization, basically it is the way the nurture us and the environment we were been expose to. In my case, I will tell them if they ask, because I can see it in their eyes that they are aware of my sexuality, but they refuse to mention, hoping that things will change one day. But nothing has change, they love for me is the same as before, because we believe the most important thing is to be there for one another and be happy for one another, after-all we only get to live once.

Basically, I am open to anyone who asks, and my stand is that if you can't handle the truth, don't ask. And as a friend, if you can't accept my sexuality preference (which does not affect your way of life), I will just wait for your return as a friend, because I do believe at some point they will realize that our friendship has nothing to do with my preference of the male gender.

As for public affection, I do not hold hands and kiss in public to publicize my sexuality, however at that special moment and timing when i comes to you when eyes met, I do show my affection and even call him "BB" in public. I do play my part and respect the public by not doing this in front of kids.

Last but not least, I think that I will not marry to make myself straight. This is being unfair to my partner (both gay and wife), a man should never be shared. It would be devastating for the woman, and if you think being gay is tough and marrying off to make yourself "straight" is right, then isn't it tougher to be married to a man who never love you for your all?

Coming to terms with (out and open) Me, (self-acceptance) Myself and (the gay) I.

Lyrics are real cool, got me dancing in the rain to: Heather Small - Proud



*Remix Version


I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Still so many answers I don't know
Realise that to question is how we grow
So I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

We need a change
Do it today
I can feel my spirit rising
We need a change
So do it today
'Cause I can see a clear horizon

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
'Cause you could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today
You could be so many people?
Just make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?