(Issue 6) The Player

I was once questioned how to you define "the player", is it the same as "the circuit boy"? Does he have to be attached to be define as "the player"? Is it the same definition as "the Playboy" in the straight world?

We agreed that if your boyfriend is going round having secret affairs behind your back, unlike in a "open relation", it is beyond acceptable, and it will take more than a sorry to forgive. However, if that someone is gracious enough to forgive this sin of lust, does it mean that the forgiven can do it again as mistakes sometimes do happen twice, or does it means that the forgiven have a license to play around once to get even?

What if it is the case whereby the guy you are seeing, with no strings attached yet, continues his way of life of having his occasional ONS. Is he a player because he had given you a sense of hope for a possible relationship?

This can only purely goes down to your definition of "a sense of hope". Nowadays the word "Dear", or many other pet names, does not mean anything much in this scene. Furthermore, there wasn't an mutual acknowledge of exclusiveness, therefore shouldn't he be given the rights to choose the right man before he gets himself tied down.

Someone once mentioned, "He believe sex is an important element in a relationship so preferably, he need to "sample the merchandise" before deciding on whether he is the right one for him, so sex is also on and part of his bigger agenda". Is this agreeable?

Many of us are looking for sex one way or the other, with all the temptation in this circle or to satisfy our changing desire and needs, regardless of our status, therefore the term "open relation" comes in for couples and the term "seeing someone" for single individuals. With the boom of interaction profile websites, bathhouses and clubs, should these group of PLUs who are constantly looking for ONS, considered as players too? Shouldn't be players be the ones that only toyed with your feelings? I do understand that there are PLUs out there who say sweet nothings and gifts to get into your pants, therefore again it comes down to how "street smart" or "sober" you are.

Then there is these other questions, Is it unfair to use this term on PLUs that have a certain class of looks? How do you tell if someone is a Player from the first glance? Or do we rely on (reliable) gossips within the circuit?

Coming to terms with (player/played) Me, (finding the 'right' guy for) Myself and (trying to stay sober) and I.

Singing in the rain to: Gabrielle - Out of Reach
Good lyrics (shown below)



Knew the signs, Wasn't right, I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you, And now I feel like a fool
So confused, My heart's bruised, Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far, I never had your heart
Out of reach, Couldn't see, We were never Meant to be

Catch myself, From despair, I could drown, If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday, I know I will be OK

But I was, So confused,
My heart's bruised, Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far, I never had your heart
Out of reach, Couldn't see, We were never Meant to be

So much hurt, So much pain, Takes a while, To regain, What is lost inside
And I hope that in time, You'll be out of my mind, And I'll be over you

But now I'm So confused,
My heart's bruised, Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, So far, I never had your heart
Out of reach, Couldn't see, We were never Meant to be

Out of reach, So far, You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see, There's a life out there, For me