(Issue 7) The Break Up

There are zillions of breakups everyday and billions of ways to go about it but what is the worst; to cheat you out of everything and leave or to give you a cold shoulder and regard you as a stranger?

Why does the other party breakup with you when he thinks that you are perfect or too good? Doesn't one constantly search for the perfect or the right enough guy, if so why use such a lame excuse for a breakup? Does he mean that he was never serious or that the timing wasn't right as he is on recovery and he does not want to hurt you? If so, is there a possibility of being together again when the timing is right?

Then there are those that uses "break up" to test your for feelings for him, to see how tight you wish to hold on to this relation. If you were to do this, don't blame the other party to agreeing to the break up, because he could have to agree with your immaturity or, at the bright side, because he thinks that you are suffering and have doubts yourself.

What about those breakups that ended with a phone message or a voice mail. Does it happen only when the person does not have the courage to bring this up to you? Being so afraid that when he see tears rolling down your eyes will make him soft and "regret" breaking up with you? Then there are also those cold shoulders or cooling off breakups. All in all, are we able to accept these breakups without a face to face talk? Is it fair that the breakup is only to be decided by one party and not mutual? My stand is that it should be easier to forget about him, because it shows that the breaker has the least respect for the relation and most importantly you. What is left for you when he thinks that he can't commute face to face with you or look you in the eye.

And there is this other thing, does everything ends after the breakup? There are many times many reconcile breakups after breakups. But why mention the word "breakup" when it is just a simple quarrel, and knowing that you guys are going to get over with? Or do we really have to lose something to find out the importance of it? Maybe it is the feeling of not being to live without one another? What ever it is, it should not be the case that you want a patch back only to have someone to be there to fill up the emptiness in your heart.

Are people allow to change after the breakup? Maybe yes, as he had just found out that there is another quality to add into his ideal boyfriend list.

Then again should there be any ground rules whereby you are not allowed to see anyone else right after the breakup, just to respect the previous relationship, or at least until the broken-up guy (not the breaker) found someone? Or does the ground rules applies to protect the third party (i.e. the new guy), so to make sure that he is not a rebound?

How long does it takes a person to heal and get over with? It is usually after the breakup that you wish that you can pick him right out of your thoughts and give him a tight hug and hope everything is the same us before, having doubts about the move by agreeing to the breakup and blame yourself entirely for it (even when you are not the initiator). Self blame - Isn't that hurting yourself, because to me, breakups should only happen when both thinks that they are not only right for each other, or am I wrong to say this?

If a relationship doesn't work out, we should at least remember it as a happy chapter in our life...shouldn't we? No matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. And a word of advise, is that you should not listen/sing to sad songs, when you are trying your best to get him out of your life and moved on (let alone drinking). See life doesn't end here, we should continue our search for the one who truly knows how to appreciate you.

And if you are thinking to let someone go (presently), remember this, "Just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. Do not let go because of a moment of fury. Think twice before you say the forbidden word, as their is hardly any chance of turning back." You can only take your friends words as an advise, because they do not know how much this person had changed your life, and how it is going to change you when everything is gone. It is your life, your decision, like that say the good ones are either attached or straight (if it is true why let go)?

Coming to terms with (heartbroken) Me, (soul-searching) Myself and (never gonna stop looking for the one) I.

Singing in the rain to: 莫文蔚 - 如果没有你
如果没有你,没有过去, 我不会有伤心.
但是有如果,还是要爱你.
如果没有你,我在哪里又有什么可惜.

Translation: If Not For You - "If not for you, I have no past, I will not be hurt.
But if there is a if, I would still want to Love you.
If not for you, I will have nothing to feel regretful."