(Issue 30) Newbies

I came out of the closet 3 years ago, provided that my calculations were right. Reflecting back, I realise the first year is full of temptations and realisation that the circle is not as beautiful as our pride flag, in facts there were many grey areas waiting for you to fall into and learn to avoid. But some lessons can never learned until you experience it.

Coming out is different from being Gay. You can be gay at the age of 18 but come out in your later years. Some might think that acknowledging and being proud of your own sexually is the hardest thing to deal with, you might be wrong.

I prepared myself by reading forums and articles of the circle, to prevent myself from falling into any grey areas, before braving a whole new world. Thinking that I am fully armour with knowledge, I was confident that I will not be "played" or "fooled around" with by the seasoned players and can be one of them. However, what I was not prepared for were a mindset call "Temptations".

Temptations are the cause of all 7 deadly sins, and in my case, temptations makes me want to experience everything in the shortest time. This is when the word "NEWBIE" is written all over you face. The experienced one seizes the opportunity of an easy target, with everything to their advantage; a fresh face with an innocent mind.

The only reasons why many newbies think that they are the center of attraction are because cute with an alluring X factor. They felt as if they were at the top of the whole, and with so many choices to choose from, they feel flattered over the attention and get head over heels, thinking that they are in control.

However, in my opinion, newbies get the attention only because they are a new face to the surrounding. You will realise this after clubbing every weekend for a month, everyone including you is seen last week or the week before, and you soon get 'tired' of it, therefore a new face never fails to be the center of attraction.

It is this moment you are most likely to be led into the gray areas, by sweet talks from the attractive guys you had always fantasy of meeting, and feel like heaven now that you are able to touch a live flesh and meat. This is the time you might feel tempted to satisfy your fantasy and decide to go with the flow.

Or it could be your eagerness to get attached and be love by someone, or to have a friend in a new environment. Whatever the case is, I am not saying this to advise everyone to stay in their closet. Instead, I had always encourage people to come out of the closet and be comfortable being themselves.

My advise is to take things slow and try not to let temptations get over your principles. Like I mentioned earlier, some lessons have to be experienced to be learn. Just make sure you stay out of drugs and unsafe sex, this way your mistakes would not ruin your life. Words are cheap, especially when it is coming out from a stranger, prevention is better than cure.

Coming out is always a great thing, in life you are bound to learn some lessons through experience, and sometimes it will led to the occasional heartbreaks and regrets but you will soon get over with when you meet your true love and real friends. You will also realise that there are more colors in life than black and white. Rise up your pride flag and live your "GAY (i.e.happy)" Life.

My word of reminder is that, "Always look back and remember how you were once led to your regrets and mistakes, and remind yourself not become that "JERK" who once fooled or played you when you are a newbie. Whom you might have cursed and swear that one day he will have a rotten Dick.

Let us welcome the Newbies with your arms open, without ill intentions, this is in fact the period they need the most support, as they are taking their first steps into the new whole.

Coming to terms with (learned well from experiences) Me, (trying to to step into the same hole and have a DeJaVu) Myself and (staying away from Newbies) I.

Humming to the song: Diana Ross - I'm Coming Out (Remix)

There's a new me coming out,
And I just had to live, And I wanna give
Im completely positive, I think this time around
I am gonna do it, Like you never do it
Like you never knew it, Ooh, Ill make it through

The time has come for me, To break out of the shell
I have to shout, That Im coming out

Im coming out, I want the world to know, Got to let it show