Ain't we used to mentioning all the different kinds of hates we have for our past lovers? However at the end of the day, sometimes, it still boils down to one other kind of hate; you hate him only because you love him so much, deep inside, and you couldn't let go. I guess love for someone never ends, it is something given and you can never take it back or change it.
Sometimes we break up because we do not want to see the other party hurt, what is more hurting; to separate because he thinks that you are not his type and he do not want to led you on anymore or to do things behind you back? Does actually breaking up (the 'right' kind) expresses the other kind of love? Or am I buffing myself?
To me, love never ends, after the breakup it just changes into another kind of love gradually. We expressed it differently, so of us turn into friends and still show care and concern, whereas the others, have a even more bitter relation. But doesn't most of the time, bitter relation comes from jealousy and jealousy doesn't comes from love? Since it is both love, couldn't we make life easier for ourselves and be gracious enough to become friends, after all we did have happy times together. If we could only realise that sometimes hating makes us ugly and at the same time closes many doors for us.
Nobody is perfect and not everyone compliments everyone, so why should we insist on a unfruitful relation and not move on, learn from our experiences which brings us to a clearer state of mind of what we want and what we can accept in our future relations.
Some described my attitude as heartless, because I am able to let go easily when someone ask for a breakup, while others say I didn't love as much. However, I think otherwise, although I may not cry anymore, but I do think back of the good memories I have and still wish that I am able to hug him to bed and be waken by his kiss during lonely nights, but I guess I am able to move on quickly only because I think that "The brightest future will always be based on a forgiven past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. I will not forget my past, as it is a lesson and a beautiful memory, but most important it is moulding me into what I am right now, stronger and wiser. My love for anyone (family and friends) shall never end, even when bad situations happen, and if it does, it only changes."
Could I had said all of the above just to hide the possibility of me loving myself to much to get hurt?
Coming to terms with (growing and learning) Me, (able to love like I had never been hurt by anyone or) Myself and (find my way back into love instead of hate) I.
Singing out out to: Mary J. Blige - No More Drama
"Broken heart again, Another lesson learn
Better know your friends, Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me, Cause I can guarantee That I'll be fine"
"Uh, it feels so good,
When you let go, Of all the drama, In your life
Now you're free From all the pain, Free from all the game
Free from all the stress, So bye your happiness
I don't know, Only God knows, Where the story ends For me,
but I know, Where the story begins
It's up to us to choose, Whether we win or lose
And I choose to win"
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