I wasn't very much prepared to fall back in love after my 'in between relation' with Savur, as I was revaluing myself and wondering what is the reason behind my thrice failure in being a couple. I was also enjoying my single hood with my soul-mates clubbing and club-hopping all around town, and then it happened.
We party all night long over at Happy and decided to hop over to Onxy for another round of booze and dance. And it was there when one of our friends happen to bump into Peit. He introduced himself to each and everyone of us and by the time he approached me to introduce himself, the door bitch is ready to accept my cold hard cash, but this unfamiliar hand, pushed it away with his credit card. I objected the offer but the senseless door bitch, still charged my entry on him.
He insisted on paying the tab and as a friendly gesture I brought him drinks. However, it didn't stop him from outdoing me, as he didn't stop the flow of drinks on his own tab. I was high and drunk sooner than I thought. It was at the end of the party when we decided to kick some alcohol out of my head by walking a distance to take a cab. That was when he introduced himself in depth.
Before we headed home, he asked for my number and we exchanged. After which was our countless dates and courtship. We became an item soon enough and things moved smoothly with him and his straight friends. However the commonalities among of of his friends is that they would warn me not to hurt Peit or play with his heart. I was relieved everytime I heard this remark, as it could also meant that he is a good catch. I was more than ready to commit myself into a serious relationship that would last forever in my mind.
Although we often argue but either one of us will take the initiative to compromise, everything was smooth and we even took holidays trips together to neighboring countries. Our relation was then put into a test when we were separated as I have to change my work environment from Singapore to China. We were separated by 3 hours flight and soon realize that trust and faith comes in more than compromise in a Long Distance Relationship.
I was touched by his gesture to fly over and visit me for a week even when I did not have anytime to accompany him. I was more than impressed by his attitude towards my dad and sister over in China, who knew my sexuality but decided to keep it to themselves. However, Peit gave me a call days after our one year anniversary. I was shocked by his question on "What will I do to satisfy my needs?", I was shocked and I told him that I hardly hard time for myself which he can tell from his visit to China. But the more important statement came after my reply, "It is difficult to have a bf who is not physically there for you went you need him,....Let's breakup". I forgot everything he said in between those sentences, as I start to realize that his first question wasn't about sexual needs alone, there is this emotional and physical presence I couldn't give him. "Peit, I'm sorry, but it is not the right moment to discuss about this. Please think it over and I will call you back in an hour".
I was buying time as I didn't want him to make any rush decisions. However at the same time, I was also more than ready to let go, as I couldn't bear to see the one I love suffer. It seems selfish of me to hold on to him when I can't provide what he wants. I return the call and he was firm with the decision. I agreed and we parted peacefully.
Peit, I learned a lot about compromise, trust and faith from you and also know my limits as a boyfriend. Glad that you came into my life and gave me those wonderful memories I will hardly forget.
Coming to terms with (still working overseas) Me, (am not ready to commit in any relation yet) Myself and (content with my present status) I.
Singing in the rain to the tunes of: 蔡依林 - 柠檬草的味道
"毕竟用尽了力气也未必如愿总是要过去以后才了解
突然我记起你的脸爱不爱不过一念之间
绕一圈今天的我能和昨天面对面
我们都没错只是不适合亲爱的我当时不懂得
选择是我的不是你给的明天自己负责"
Translation: Smell of Lemon Grass - "After all, I might not get what I wanted even if I used all my strength
I always only understood after the event has passed
Suddenly I remembered your face
To love or not is simply depends on a thought; I traveled around once
Today, I can face myself from yesterday
We are not wrong; we are just incompatible
My dear; I don't understand at the time
The choice is mine; it is not what you gave me
I have to be responsible for my own tomorrow"
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