Was alone in 'Happy' again, enjoying the scenes of cute guys while dancing to the tunes of George, when two guys took the courage to approach to disturb my alone time with my Cosmopolitan. I politely return them return with an unwelcoming smile and looked away to ignore their presence.
However, my hints weren't clear enough, as they continue their pursue by dancing around me. I tried to shift myself away from my favorite position (leaning against the wall, one step into the the dance floor where cute half naked guys on the podium can be clearly seen) but was 'trap' by them. So I politely pushed them aside and try to enjoy the music will hanging on to my Cosmo just in case it spill on my white top.
Ensoé quickly took this opportunity to introduced himself and his friend, Ax. He told me that Ax is interested in getting to know me. I was smiled and introduced myself and continue my dance. Ax, got the hint and was prepared to move away, but Ensoé grasp Ax by the hand and showed off his skills. He continue dancing around me and brushes my hand with his. I quickly sallowed the entire glass Cosmo in one single breathe and pass the server my empty glass, as I could wait to insert both my hands into my own jeans pocket. Ensoé started to change his tactics to having small talks. I replied, I guess after all it is the flattery that refrained me from walking out the club or shoo him off in his face.
What interested me was not their appearance, but Ensoé confidence and 'cockiness'. You can see from their gestures that Ax takes Ensoé lessons seriously, like a student to a teacher. As I was replying to my sms, Ensoé asked for my number and I didn't hesitate I gave a fake, an being an 'expert' he reached for my phone, gave himself a missed call and replied " This is my number". Surprise, shocked and amused, he attracted me in some weird way.
Messages started coming for the passed few days. I was alone and trying to recover from my past relation with Cason, therefore I agreed to go on a first date. He was sweet and caring, which leads to subsequent dates. Our dates become sweeter and everything was perfect, as he was caring and loving. The weird thing is that every time I bunk over, there is the presence of his room mate, therefore I restricted our moments to pure kissing only. What didn't match was also our sex drive, my desire was low (maybe because that was why I wasn't attracted to him the first place, not that he is below average but he is just not my type). The other reason to my low drive was the presence of his room mate and male landlord. Slowly this drift us apart, and even was the topic among his friends. I just replied them that I am aware of satisfying the needs (but what they didn't know is that I have to do it at my own comfort zone).
Soon, I found out that he wasn't a "Vanilla". I got afraid and decided to move on without him. As it was the first time for me to request a breakup, I didn't know what to do. At first our messages started to turn cold from my side, then after a couple of days I called and asked for a breakup. Things didn't turn out great, in fact it was ugly.
As the weekend approached, his friend Ax asked me for a drink, and since I was already planning to head down to Happy alone, I accepted his offer. It was then I happened to bumped onto Ensoé and we provided the customers with a bit of daytime soap opera.
Ensoé, up till now I am still very sorry for breaking your heart and I hope we can be friends again, or at least forgive me. But again, every time, I bump into you, I shy off as I worry of the drama we would create, but deep down inside I want to say I am truly sorry for what I had done.
Coming to terms with (feeling blue) Me, (still get over it) Myself and (apologetic) I.
Feeling apologetic : Blue - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
What I got to do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.
It's sad, so sad, It's a sad, sad situation.
And it's getting more and more absurd.
It's sad, so sad, Why can't we talk it over?
Oh it seems to me, That sorry seems to be the hardest word.
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