(Issue 18) Soul-Mates

There is a saying among friends and EXs during breakups, that "There is a soul-mate out there waiting for you, the one perfect person to complete you, it is just that it is not him/me". As sad as it sounds, I do not believe in that but on the contradictory I am glad that I don't. All because does it also mean that "If I don't find him, I am totally incomplete?"

I looked up the dictionary to search for the definition an it says:-

soul-mate
n. One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.
Someone who loves you for who you are: someone who's really hard to find. soul-mates are the people you want to spend the rest of your life with.

The "best" part of it all is that it is "someone who's really hard to find", does it also meant that your chances of finding your real soul-mate are as slim as Kate Moss? And will he appear in a hairpiece with the word "soul-mate" written on his head? It is because if he is the only ONE out of the zillions and billions in the entire world population, I do not want to miss him and remain single forever if I let the chance slipped by.

Then there is another type of definition that is suppose to affirm you, to make you feel stronger and better and have a better prospective in life so that you continue to find that perfect one:-

"A soul-mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soul-mate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. Our soul-mate is the one who makes life come to life.”

I wondered, is it an affirmation that is suppose to make you get back up on your feet and look for that person to fits you perfectly, or is it a reminder to you that it is such an unattainable task to look for that "perfect person" and you are been set up to fail?

However, I think otherwise as I took the time to read these definitions over again and reviewed everyone in my life, I am proud to say that I do have many soul-mates in my life and sure they are hard to find, just like how it is defined. The best news of all is that if each of us take a moment and looked again, we do have at least one holding on to our hand right now, regardless whether we are single or attached. They are our closest friends, friends that unlocks our hearts with whom we can be totally honest with, who cared and loved us of our truest selves, etc etc. Remember they did not define him as someone we have to be able to kiss and tell or have sex with to make thing work. They are simply the group of people we feel comfortable with, even in total silence.

Just like Charlotte (Sex and the City) would put it "having friends as soul-mates and men as someone to have fun with". After all, who is always there (even in the middle of the night) when we are really hurt by the ones we thought would loved us forever? Who are the ones who will always open their arms to welcome you back after you deserted them for having fun with a cute guy over a long period of time? These are the people who are really hard to find, people who love you no matter what, and therefore are worth keeping. I am glad that I found three.

However, I still wish that the fourth will come by sometime, as companion, a friend and a lover.

Coming to terms with (Lucky) Me, (Glad that I won't have to grow old and lonely all by) Myself and (having true soul-mates) I.

Humming in the middle of a busy road to: Queen - You're My Best Friend
Oh you're my best friend, Oooh you make me live
Oh I've been wandering round, but I still come back to you
In rain or shine, you've stood by me girl
I'm happy at home, you're my best friend